Sorting parenting arrangements after separation is never easy. Emotions run high, kids feel unsettled, and the legal jargon alone can send your stress levels skyrocketing.
Recently, Australia’s family laws have gone through big changes—with more rolling out in 2024 and 2025. The language has shifted, the rules are different, and if you’re confused, you’re not alone.
Here’s a plain-English rundown of exactly how parenting arrangements work now, what you can realistically expect, and how to put your kids first during this tricky period.
Forget About ‘Custody’ and ‘Access’
First up, forget the word “custody.” You’ll no longer hear Australian courts use terms like custody, residence, contact, or access. The law now talks about parenting arrangements, covering things like:
- Where the kids will actually live.
- How they’ll divide their time between parents.
- How parents communicate about their kids.
- Keeping kids connected with other important people (like grandparents or relatives).
This new wording matters. It’s about kids as individuals, not possessions.
What the Law Actually Cares About (Hint: Your Kids)
Australian parenting law follows a few key principles:
- The best interests of the child are number one.
- Kids generally have the right to maintain meaningful relationships with both parents.
- Kids need protection from any harm or abuse.
- Parents share the responsibility of looking after their children.
These principles guide courts in deciding how arrangements are made. It’s no longer about a 50-50 split by default. Instead, the situation is tailored to each family’s needs.
Major Changes You Need to Know About (from May 2024)
The Family Law Amendment Act 2023 made big waves in how the system works. Here are the highlights:
No More Automatic “Equal Shared Parental Responsibility”
Previously, courts automatically assumed parents would share responsibilities equally for big decisions. Not anymore. Courts now look purely at what’s best for the individual child in front of them—especially important if there’s conflict or family violence involved.
Simplified Best Interest Factors
The checklist for what’s “best” has become clearer. Courts consider things like:
- The safety of the child (and their caregivers) as the number one priority.
- The child’s own views, depending on their age and maturity.
- How strong their relationships are with parents and significant others.
- How changes will impact the child practically and emotionally.
- Any practical barriers to spending time with each parent (distance, finances, etc.).
- The capacity of each parent to meet their child’s emotional and practical needs.
- Cultural connections, especially for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander children.
So, What Exactly is Parental Responsibility?
Parental responsibility covers all the big decisions you make for your kids: schooling, health, religion, and even name changes. Both parents naturally have this responsibility until a child turns 18, separated or not.
Courts can still make orders adjusting parental responsibility, like giving one parent sole responsibility for certain decisions or splitting responsibilities in different ways.
How to Formalise Your Parenting Arrangements
There are a few different ways you can formalise agreements:
- Informal Agreements: Simple and flexible, but not legally binding. Good for friendly co-parents but tricky if arguments arise later.
- Parenting Plans: Written agreements covering the main areas like living arrangements and finances. Not legally enforceable, but courts do pay attention to them when making orders.
- Consent Orders: Legal agreements approved by a court. Enforceable and provides clear security. Can be changed by returning to court if circumstances shift.
- Parenting Orders: Needed if you can’t agree. Before applying, most parents must try mediation (family dispute resolution), except if family violence or urgency is involved.
Family Dispute Resolution: Making Arrangements Without Court Drama
Family Dispute Resolution (FDR) is specialised mediation that helps separating parents agree on practical arrangements without going to court. It focuses on kids first, reduces conflict, and gives parents clear guidance. If mediation doesn’t work out, you get a certificate that lets you take the matter to court.
Working Out How Your Kids Split Their Time
There’s no standard “one-size-fits-all” arrangement. It varies based on your child’s age, personality, and family situation. But, as a rough guide:
- Babies and toddlers: Short, frequent visits are often best.
- Pre-schoolers: Gradually increasing overnight stays.
- Primary-aged children: Longer stays, regular routines, shared holidays.
- Teenagers: Flexible arrangements, giving them input into schedules.
Special Considerations the Court Looks At
Family Violence and Abuse
Protecting kids from harm is paramount. The court can order supervised visits, restricted communication, or even stop contact altogether if there are safety concerns. Recent updates make protections even stronger.
Cultural Connections
Maintaining cultural ties is vital, especially for Aboriginal, Torres Strait Islander, or culturally diverse families. Courts will actively consider these needs.
Kids with Special Needs
Medical or disability requirements mean tailored arrangements around care routines, medication, therapy sessions, or proximity to healthcare services.
Practical Advice for Co-Parenting Without the Stress
- Keep your kids at the centre: Focus on their routines, stability, emotional needs, and relationships, rather than strictly what seems fair between adults.
- Communicate clearly and neutrally: Use written communication or co-parenting apps if conversations become tricky.
- Be flexible: Kids’ needs change as they grow. Be prepared to adjust.
- Support both relationships: Encourage a positive relationship with the other parent. Keep conflict away from the kids.
When Legal Help Really Matters
Sorting arrangements without a lawyer is possible, but legal advice becomes crucial if:
- There’s family violence or safety concerns.
- One parent won’t let the other see the kids.
- You’re thinking about moving far away or overseas.
- The other parent is ignoring agreed-upon plans.
The family lawyers at Mohan Yildiz & Associates help families navigate these tough situations. We’re here if things get complicated.
Looking Forward (With Less Stress)
Parenting after separation isn’t easy. No solution is perfect. But kids are incredibly resilient, especially when parents stay calm, consistent, and cooperative. By keeping their needs front and centre, and staying as flexible as possible, you give them the stability and reassurance they need during this transition.
If you need advice, clarity, or someone experienced to help figure out parenting arrangements after separation, the family law team at Mohan Yildiz & Associates is here for you.
